u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize