soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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