That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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