i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
