the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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