quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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