I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
