I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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