If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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