I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
