Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize