So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
