so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
