so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
