but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
