hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
