Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
