We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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