dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
