She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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