Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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