I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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