dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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