i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize
