The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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