she smelled like a LAN party
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
