Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
