dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
