Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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