I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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