idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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