did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
