Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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