Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
