If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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