My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize