just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
