I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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