I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
