in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
