There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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