also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
