So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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