She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
