ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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