you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
