apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
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