the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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