i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
