After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
