His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
