I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
