well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize