It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
