that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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