the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
