Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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