I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
