Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize