it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
