Can Purell be used as lube?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
