You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Sorry my hands just texted you
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
